I’m trying this new thing called “taking better care of my stuff” and wanted to purchase a case for my cellphone — especially after having just shelled out $200 for the deductible on my lost/damaged phone insurance plan. I went to Amazon to read some reviews and found this gem by reviewer remix’d.
(Click the image to biggify)
Otterbox, baby. Before I decided to buy this, I took my dad’s handgun, walked into a zoo, and fired without hesitation at some otters. Sure enough, they were all unphased; The bullets seem to just slide off their coats. No harm came to the semi-aquatic mammals, except for some sound disturbance to which they responded by flipping me the finger. I apologized and thanked them with a bucket of clams with tickets to those things they like inside. After security was kind enough to escort me out with a taser and mace, I promptly bought multiple otterbox cases and made a makeshift kevlar vest and helmet in preparation for the impending zombie apocalypse, so when I become a zombie, I’ll be unstoppable.
Otterbox should hire this person, because that review was enough for me to buy the case right then and there.